Example: The use of the aside


THE LYING KING


written and illustrated 


by


Alex Beard


Greenleaf Book Group Press




Once/ there was/ a king -/-/-/


Who liked/ to tell/ lies. -/-/-/


He said/ it was/ day -/-/-/


Beneath/ the night/ skies. -/-/-/


                      “Good Morning!”


When/ it was/ wet, -/-/-/


He said/ it was/ dry. -/-/-/


                     “Not a cloud in the sky.”


He bragged/ about -/-/


How high/ he could/ fly. -/-/-/


                    “Wheee…”


Why does this work and how can it help you?


  • Did you notice the use of the aside?

  • You are not limited in the development of character.

This enables you to go from showing to telling.


Example: Lyrical Prose

BRIANNA BRIGHT, BALLERINA KNIGHT


by


Pam Calvert


art by


Liana Hee


Two Lions Books


Brianna Bright’s tiny heart longed to dance.


Unfortunately, her feet didn’t follow.


When practicing, she pranced


And pique'd and pivoted…


Right into the palace pool


Ploink!


She plie'd onto to her pet poodle, Pixie,


And frappe'd into the fountain


Flipping a frog.


Why does this work and how can it help you?

  • This is lyrical prose.

  • Did you notice the use of alliteration and  onomatopoeia?

There is a balance between lyrical language and purple prose. 

Purple prose is draws attention to it, thereby obscuring the story itself.


Purple prose uses big and impressive words when simple will do.


Purple prose is filled with runaway metaphors and wordiness.


     

Example: Diction Choices

GOOD NIGHT, BUNNY


by 


Lauren Thompson


art by


Stephanie Yue


Orchard Books


Good night,/ log/ and splash/y creek. -/ +/-/-/


Good night,/ mous/ies all/ a squeak. -/+/-/-/


Good night,/ cat/tails -/+/-


And moon/light glow. -/-/


Good night,/ min/nows swim/ming slow. -/+/-/-/


Why does this work and how can it help you?


  • Did you notice the diction? Specific word choices that evoke an emotional reaction? Like "mousies all a squeak." And 
"minnows swimming slow?" Connotation is the feeling a word stirs up. These definite nuances take a story from acceptable to powerful and create an experience for the reader.


  • Did you notice the metrical variance? From four beats per line to two beats per line. This keeps the story from becoming sing-songy. Like music it creates punch where you need it.


Example: Metrical Variance

Bear Can't Sleep


by


Karma Wilson


art by


Jane Chapman


Margret K. McElderry Books


In his home/ in the forest,  --/--/


While the cold/ + wind blows, --/--/


+ Bear snug/gles in his/ + quilt +-/--/+/


From his nose/ to his toes.--/--/



While the snow/+ flakes fall--/+-/


And the drifts/ + pile high. --/+-/


+ Bear toss/es and he/ + turns, +-/--/+/


+ Bear moans/ and he sighs. +-/--/



He stares/ at the wall; +-/--/


he’s not tired/ at all. --/+-/


And the bear can’t sleep! --/ / /


Why does this work and how can this rhyme scheme help you?


  • Did you notice the metrical variance of two beats, two beats, three beats, two beats.


  • Did you notice the refrain and the use of the spondee? 

  • Did you notice the variance with in the refrain, with two beats, two beats, three beats.


The Further Adventures of THE OWL and the PUSSY-CAT


by 


Julia Donaldson 


art by 


Charlotte Yoake


Puffin Books



The owl/ and the puss/y cat/ went to sleep. -/--/-/--/


By the light/ of the moon/ so pale. A --/--/-/


Their bea/utiful ring/ was tied with/ a string. -/--/--/-/


In a bow/ round the puss/y cat’s tail. A --/--/--/


They dreamed/ of mice, / and rasp/berry ice, -/-/-/--/


While slum/ber ing cheek/ to cheek. B -/--/-/


But down/ flew a crow/ who unravel/ed the bow. -/--/--/--/


And flew off/ with the ring/ in his beak. B --/--/--/


His beak B -/


His beak B -/


And flew off/ with the ring/ in his beak. B --/--/--/


Why does this work and how can this rhyme scheme help you?


  • Did you notice the end rhyme is every other line? This gives the writer freedom with story, plot and character development. 

  • Did you notice the use of internal rhyme, thereby enhancing its musicality?

  • Did you notice the sharp use of metrical variance, with two stanzas’ having only one hard beat? This throws the reader off, 
because he is expecting a certain rhythm. A technique for arresting the attention of the reader. 



Example: Refrain, Repetition and Onomatopoeia


The Goodnight Train Rolls On


by 


June Sobel


art by 


Laura Huliska-Beith



Houghton Mifflin Harcourt 2018



Stars/ are twinkl/ing. Moon/ shines bright. -/-/-/-/


The Good/night Train/ chugs through/ the night. -/-/-/-/


Dream dust/ lands/ on sleep/y heads. -/-/-/-/


The port/er smiles/ and fluffs/ the beds. -/-/-/-/


Chugga! Chugga!


Shhhhhhh! Shhhhhhh!


Why does this work and how can it help you?


  • Did you notice the long vowels that slow the pacing and create a heavier tone? 


  • Did you notice the use of onomatopoeia? Chugga, chugga and shhhhhhh, shhhhhhh. A heightened use of sound takes your writing to a new level. It can elicit a specific emotion, like peace.


  • Did you notice the use of a refrain. The child will be able to repeat this sound along with you. Almost putting the child to sleep. 


Tree Song


by Tiffany Stone


art by Holly Hatam



Annick Press Ltd



-Hushhhhhhhhhhh/ warns wind / -/


And whirls/ seed down. A -/-/


-Seed/ lies, si/lent, on/ the ground. A -/-/-/-/



-Oh/ so quiet, -/-/


-Not/ a peep, B -/-/


-Seed/ escapes/ a hung/ry beak. B /-/-/-/



-All/ around -/-/


-Thrums/- noise. C-/-/


-Should/ seed try/ its brand/ new voice? C -/-/-/-/



-Twit/ter. Trick/le. -/-/-


Is it time/ -yet? --/-/


-No/, not now. -/-/


Why does this work and how can it help you?


  • Did you notice the use of onomatopoeia? This technique helps the reader hear the sounds. The reader cannot but help be drawn into the experience.


  • Did you notice that the first line rhymes with nothing? This sets the stage for what follows. And gives the poet freedom.


  • Did you notice the refrain? A refrain emphasizes an idea through repetition. It causes the reader to pause and reflect or creates anticipation.

Example: Haiku

Hi, Koo


by


Jon J Muth


art by Jon J Muth



Scholastic Press



Autumn,


are you dreaming


of new clothes?



these leaves


fall forever


my broom awaits.


Why does this work and how can it help you?


  • Haiku is a snap shot of a moment or experience. It embodies sensory images and emotion. 


  • Did you notice the technique of comparison? Repeated twice?


Something


Something else


Together they complete as one particular event.




Example: Spondee

SLEEP BIG BEAR SLEEP!


by


Maureen Wright


art by


Will Hillenbrand


Marshall Cavendish Children


Old Man Wint/er from/ a storm/ cloud spied /-/-/-/-/


His big/ bear friend/ in the coun/try side. -/-/--/-/


He leaned/ to the earth/ and soft/ly sighed, -/--/-/-/


Sleep, Big Bear, Sleep.” / / / /



But Big/ Bear/ didn’t hear/ ver/y well; -/+/-/+/-/


He couldn’t/ sleep/ in his den/ in the dell. -/+/--/--/


He thought/ he heard/as twilight/ fell, -/-/--/+/


“Drive a jeep, Big Bear, drive a jeep.” --/ / /--/


Why does this work and how can it help you"


  • Did you notice how the use of the Spondee changes the pace of the poem?


  • Did you notice how it creates a normal expression into a dramatic form?


just add


GLITTER


by Angela Diterlizzi


art by


Smantha Cotterill



Beach Lane Books


Bored,/ ignored,/ or feel/ing down? -/-/-/-/


Need/ some fanc/y in your/ town? -/-/-/-/


Want/ some shine/ upon/ your crown? -/-/-/-/


Just add glitter! / / /


Why does this work and how can it help me?


  • Did you notice the use of the Spondee in the last line? This gives a heightened feeling. Giving an emotional experience for the child. 

  • Did you notice that the last line rhymes with nothing? This gives the writer greater freedom. Children love repeating the line with you.